frowny face.

The half marathon is this weekend. The halfie. My halfie. And I won't be running it. 

I'm really bummed out about this. Very bummed out, actually. I was really enjoying training for it and pushing myself farther and farther. I was really excited to run it with a lot of my friends running in it as well or at least being there to support me. Some people from work were even going to come. But now I feel like I've quit. A small consolation is that I can still go pick up my goody bag that has my shirt and my bib number, but even that is a small slap in the face. 

I really wanted to run it. And the worst part is that I could have run it! If I had just a little more energy, I could have continued training and been even more proud of myself knowing that I'd just run a half marathon while I was almost 4 months pregnant. Instead I'm just some tired pregnant lady standing on the side lines feeling crappy. 

Oh well, I guess I can feel better knowing that, while I could have continued training, I could have also put my baby more at risk from all the exertion. I could have continued training, but if my body wasn't responding well or if I'd started spotting, that could have been bad news. At least I can still be there to support my friends, and hopefully I can keep myself in good enough shape while I'm pregnant that I can start training for the half (or maybe full?) in enough time to be able to run it next year.

If I could just freaking wake up already!!

anytime.

It used to be that if I didn't go to the gym first thing in the morning, I wouldn't go. I mean, first thing. There was a long stretch of time that I wouldn't even brush my teeth before I went... well, until my aunt told me that was kinda gross. I certainly never ate anything before I went. If I couldn't go first thing in the morning, I just couldn't go. I would skip that day. I hated having a work out at the back of my mind. I liked having my evenings to do whatever I wanted, not wasting it at the gym. Plus, the gym was more crowded in the evenings. No thank you, I'll wake up at 5:15 am  to go if I have to.

I did that for years. Years. I did that through college. College. I remember my junior year when I first lived in a dorm my roommate and neighbors would be amazed at the fact that I got up consistently 3 mornings during the week and went to work out. 

I can't do that anymore. I can't get up early anymore. I've gone backwards, so to speak. I've never been able to stay up late, but now I can't even wake up early. I need sleep. Thus, I've made some adjustments and I now go to the gym only in the evenings. It's the only time I can go. I don't really like it, if I had my way I would still go in the mornings so I could have my evenings free, but I just can't get up early enough now that I have a 45 minute commute. 

This week I found myself at the gym at 8pm and didn't leave until after 9. I feel a bit rebellious to my old self. I feel like I've finally given up some of my anal tendencies in my old age. I feel like I finally like to work out, instead of it just being something I made myself do.

Or maybe I'm just really, really tired.

an explanation.

Some of you may be wondering, "Gee Kate, for someone who is training for a half-marathon and blogging about her 12 week training schedule, you sure aren't talking about running too much." Well, my friends, thank you for being so observant, first of all. And second of all, I have a confession to make: I haven't really been training for the half marathon. I've been really exhausted. 

Because I'm pregnant.

I apologize for my secrecy, seeing as how I've known for about 2 months now. But, if it makes you feel any better, I'm 12 weeks into my pregnancy! How's that for ironic?!! Each trimester is 12 weeks long! Things that last for 12 weeks is my life!

So it looks as though I won't run the half marathon, not because my doctor says I can't, but because I have been so tired I can hardly think straight. However, I'm on to my second set of 12 weeks (read: 2nd trimester), and now that I'm "out" with my news, I can blog about pregnancy workouts!

simpler times. and workouts.

I was at the gym the other night on the elliptical machine. I was really annoyed for some reason. Everything was pissing me off. This happens sometimes at the gym. I see people doing exercises with terrible form and I get mad, marveling at how could they possibly not understand that they're doing it wrong. Sometimes people do their repetitions on the weight machines reeeally fast. Like the faster they go they think the better the workout. It drives me crazy!

So this night, the lady on the treadmill in front of me was making me insane. She was going the slowest she could probably go on the treadmill. You know when you get on the treadmill and it starts on like 0.5 mph and it's up to you to make the speed increase? Yeah, I don't think she got that memo. So she's moseying along (at least she was not hanging on the handrails-argh!!), and I'm trying to calm myself down. Why do I get so worked up sometimes? Why won't she go faster??! Then, to make things worse, she starts running. BUT. She does not increase the speed. She was going 1 mph but she was trying to run. So she was bouncing and working her arms and legs like she was running. At 1 mph. Yaargagahhhhgghh. Ugh. 

I take some deep breaths. So what? So what this lady is working it? So what she is trying to make the most out of her workout? This frustration coming from the girl who gets frustrated as hell when she can't run as far or lift as much as she could in college. Or last week.

So I'm calming myself down. I don't know this lady's story. Maybe she's recovering from an injury. Maybe this is her first time working out and she's excited and making the most out of going slow. I'm jumping to conclusions and making assumptions about this broad. Meanwhile,I should be focusing on my workout. And my blood pressure. 

Reflecting on this made me miss just enjoying a good workout. Anymore, I have to accomplish something. I have to break a personal record. I have to work really hard. If I go to the gym wanting to run and end up only being able to walk, I get pissed at myself. I feel like my workout didn't count and I might as well have done nothing at all.

I feel like going to the gym to relieve stress is actually counterproductive. 

new bloggers!

I consider myself to be a great influence. If I haven't convinced anyone to get into shape, then I have at least convinced a couple people to start blogs. My mom, and the Bets!

My mom's blog is funny, silly, and about her new dog, Sonny. Well, it's partly about him. He's a very goofy dog, and in his big puppy phase, and entertaining to read about. He's a yellow lab who looks very much like my buddy, Tucker. My mum is a dog lover, through and through, and she's a really good writer and also she's my mom! I bet your mom doesn't have a blog!

The other blog I'm excited to tell you about is Betsy's! Or The Bets for short. Betsy is a marathon runner who is posting funny blogs about the people she meets and things she thinks about while running. For example, what flavor Popsicle would I be? If I was a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle, I would probably be... And, my favorite, why is this dog following me? Why hasn't he gotten squashed by a car yet? Her blog is titled Bubba Loves to Run because she has an inner fat kid she named Bubba. You may also remember that Betsy just happened to make authorized meals for Girl's Night while I was still doing BFL.

Betsy and my Mom are also both amazing cooks. I want to be like them one day.

I hope you enjoy. I'm linking them up under my "Bloggers That I Love" list to your right! Enjoy!

the couch.

With the weather being absolutely ridiculous (it was 75 degrees and sunny on Sunday and today we are sitting on an inch of ice with 3-5" of snow falling) and my commute being a good 45 minutes, I tend to work from home a lot. Which I hate. I feel less productive, probably because I am, and I spend the day on the couch. I feel really gross after I work from home all day, like I haven't done anything. I never really understood how people could be couch potatoes or what that would even feel like. I do now. I hate this weather.