In other news, my new adventure after Body For Life consists of me training for the St. Louis Half Marathon in April! Stay tuned as I combine BFL and marathon training!
People ask what is life after BFL like? What do you do? My answer: round 2 baby. That's right. I'm so pleased with my results from this 12 week cycle that I fully plan on (taking a week off and then) starting over with week 1.
I'm kind of annoyed at myself for taking the results I've gotten so far for granted. I look at the weight I've lost or the tone and muscle I've gained and think, "Yeah, but it's not perfect" and that makes me sick. So what?! I look great compared to 10 weeks ago and I'm totally blowing off all my hard work and the changes I have made!
Ugh, I hate body and weight issues sometimes. I really do. I didn't like how I looked before, and I don't like how I look now. What the hell is that?
It has, however, been a little hard to sustain. It all started when one week Skip and I stopped planning our meals on Sunday nights. We were able to eek through the week, still eating authorized, but it was much harder than before. We are now able to see why it was so easy for us to fall into such terrible eating habits- it's way easier to order a pizza than go to the store, pick something out, go home, and cook for 30 minutes. With school, a second job for Skip, business trips for me, church obligations, and final projects and exams (not to mention a little thing called the Christmas season), it became damn near impossible to keep up the planning and scheduling required for BFL.
This past week I was unable to work out. At all. I feel terrible about it, but I was able to keep up the eating, and I'm still looking good, so I guess I'm fine with it. Putting up such definite boundaries and guidelines makes it very hard to break or bend them, thus I feel like a failure. This has been a constant struggle for me: to not follow something to perfection and "turn over a new leaf" is really, reeeally hard for me.
But I'm looking forward to starting this week over and really kicking ass the next two weeks. Look for my before and after pictures to go up sometime around December 29th!
Here's the thing people, BFL has shown me how I need to eat. I don't really crave unhealthy food anymore, so when I go out to eat, I make sure to order something with a lot of veggies and some kind of protein. Like today. We went out for Thai food at work for lunch. I rarely go out to eat with everyone because of BFL, and today I wanted to go so I let myself. I had chicken with veggies and some white rice. They also gave me this tiny little spring roll. That was fried. And I ate it. And I ate most of my white rice. Neither of which was authorized, but it was all about the portions.
I guess I just see now that it's not about what I don't eat, it's about what I do eat. And I do need to eat. BFL has made me understand that my body needs food. Eating is a good thing! It's what you eat that can make things go all wonky. My body needs food, so I eat happily, except I try to make sure that what I'm eating isn't total crap. I'm not afraid or worried about food anymore. It's a huge relief.
So I eat healthy 98% of the time now, and my "free days" are kind of spread out throughout the week. I'm still sticking to the workout and the eating portion, and I've lost 9 pounds to prove it! I'm just adjusting BFL for my life, so that I can eat healthy and stay in shape forever.
It's pretty awesome.
Skip is not ready for babies. In fact, right before I got this baby craziness, we were both in agreeance that we kind of don't even want babies. Like, ever. So it was a big shock to him when I came down with the fever and it won't go away. I think he's starting to come around to the fact that, ok ok yes Kate wants to have babies for real now. But he's not yet to the point where he is also wanting to have babies at this second. Which is bad. For me.
But they are everywhere! Babies are everywhere. Some good friends of mine at work are either on maternity leave or thisclose to going on maternity leave. My cousin is due this month. One of my very best friends just told me she's pregnant. And you guys, I mean it, I've got it. I've got this fever. For example, last night I went out to eat with my brother, his fiancee, and their almost 3 year-old daughter. She was crazy. She was running around, squealing, didn't want to eat, ran into the kitchen, etc. Skip looked at me and I just said, "Yep, still want 'em!" I mean, she's 2! Of course she's crazy! And I blame the establishment: they didn't give her crayons or coloring stuff or anything. In all honesty, I was kind of bored.
How does this translate to BFL? Not to toot my own horn here, guys, but I'm looking pretty good. I'm pretty much back to my post-college figure and it feels great. I actually need to go shopping because none of my pants fit. It's awesome! But having a baby means that I'm going to gain a ton of weight, and have a hard time losing it (or so they tell me, I like to think I like working out too much to let myself keep all the baby weight).
So that's what I keep telling myself. "Don't have a baby now, you're looking so great and you've been working so hard. Don't lose momentum now. You've only got 3 more weeks!"
But it's haaard. I just want babies!
As a result of my sickness which has involved countless Kleenex, one and a half days missed at work, and laying in bed with Tucker for about 7 hours straight, I have not worked out since Monday afternoon. This is freaking me out and I'm trying to be the calm Kate I know I can be and telling myself that it's OK, you'll pick it up next week, or as soon as you feel better. People get sick, and you have to let your body get better.
But it's making me crazy!! I've read a number of times that if you're sick "from the neck up," meaning a cold or slight congestion or something, you can still get a workout in. If you're sick "from the neck down," like if the sickness is in your chest, go to bed and don't get up until you feel better.
I call bullshit.
I am definitely in the "from the neck up" category, but no way am I going to put on workout clothes and suffer through the chills or hot flashes associated with a bad cold or sinus infection or whatever is going on just so I can get in a few squats and cardio. Please. I need to be in bed with Tucker by my side watching a really good movie. Like "Shaun of the Dead."
But I do feel guilty. I feel like I'm losing my momentum with BFL and that one day shortly before my 12 weeks are over I will quit altogether. Actually, I know that won't happen, but it feels like it's happening despite my best efforts. I have been sticking to the eating portion of BFL, and am not letting the "I'm sick!" excuse to allow myself to drink hot chocolate or a fruity, unauthorized smoothie.
I just really hate being sick.
That being said, I did pretty well for not being able to eat on my regular schedule and not always getting the 6 meals in a day and not being able to plan out what I was going to eat... because I didn't know what I was going to eat. I tried to stick to salads and watched my portions and at least tried to get in a protein, carb, and veggie at most meals. Don't get me wrong, I slipped a couple times (there was this amazing Mexican restaurant right around the corner!!), but when we're looking at the whole picture, I did really, really good. I also stuck to the workout portion of BFL without a hitch, so that was great too.
And to prove it I've got another half inch off my waist!
However, it is a little hard getting back on track. I love having my schedule back, but it's a little easier for me to get tempted by unauthorized foods. For example, last night at my friend Betsy's house I had a few handfuls of those Hot Tamales candies. But. I realized what I was doing and moved the bowl far away from me so I wouldn't eat anymore.
I think my mindset is changing. As Skip and I almost complete our 6th week (halfway baby!), I am looking more towards the big picture of eating healthy for life instead of focusing on these 12 weeks and doing meticulously well for 12 weeks only. So I am letting myself have a handful of chewy candy, but putting them away after I know I've had enough. Or, like yesterday, when I had to stop at Schnuck's and get something from the salad bar because I forgot my lunch, and then I forgot to add a portion of carbohydrates to my lunch, I let myself have a small piece of a bagel to supplement that carbohydrate.
Body For Life has helped me to understand that I need to feed my body. I need food! So when I don't have anything near me that is technically authorized but it's time for me to eat one of my small meals, I will let myself have a small bag of pretzels or a cup of yogurt or something at least on the healthy side. Or at least not sweat it too much. Because the point of all of this is to change my eating habits so that I can stay healthy and fit for the rest of my life. Not just 12 weeks.
Anyway, I just wanted to give myself a little bit of leeway here and say that Skip is looking hot. HOT. His belly is officially been titled "The Incredible Shrinking Belly" and his arms are getting all ripped and stuff. It's awesome.
I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm looking smokin' too (hehe), but it's a lot more fun to see and talk about how hot Skip is.
This week is going to be a tough one. I just need to know that I will do the best I can. If I can't be perfect, I can do my best and that's all I can do.
In other news, I might also be a personal trainer at this gym! Apparently I need no special certification (look out) and they are short on trainers so... voila! Being a personal trainer is something I've always wanted to do, and I'm really confident in my abilities as a trainer. Between working out myself and reading pretty much anything I run across that is about nutrition or fitness, I think I would do okay. So we'll see!
Oh, and by the by, it's now 2 inches off my waist and 2 inches off my hips. Woot!!
For my midday snack today I had string cheese and yogurt. Not too bad, but definitely missing the salty and crunchiness that I really need in the afternoon. Fortunately for me, unfortunate for BFL, there was a huge bowl of Rold Gold pretzels out in the office this afternoon.
I've had several handfuls. Ugh, I miss pretzels!
Coffee is the one trendy thing I can really follow through on. I don't wear especially cool clothes. My hair makes me look like someone's mom. I don't own skinny jeans or Chuck Taylors. Coffee was the one thing I could do that made me feel like someone who has their life together. Someone who was cool. Someone who could get away with wearing that newsboy hat.
Being on BFL, I realize that I didn't eat too bad before I started the program. True, it wasn't a very well-balanced diet, but I don't think I was doing too bad. I feel confident that when my 12 weeks are over, I'll be able to pretty well stick to eating this way for a good long while (it's called body for life for a reason).
But I also know that I damn well will have my coffee with creamer every morning if I please. And if it means losing an ounce of muscle or gaining a couple pounds, so be it.
Also this is just getting hard. With our social life, it's really hard and sad for me to not be able to eat and have fun with my friends whenever I want. For example, we went to a huge bonfire this past Friday night and they had hot dogs, s'mores, and hot chocolate. I had a hot dog only because my strong aversion to meat kept me from eating much more than string cheese, yogurt, and peanut butter crackers all day and my stomach was hurting I was so hungry. I felt really guilty about that hot dog, too.
So, I guess the novelty of BFL has officially worn off, and I'm starting to feel like I'm about to quit or let myself down again like I did today or something crazy like that. I just really hate having to plan around what social event is going on that weekend with when I can eat something unauthorized. Like a freaking s'more.
Sigh, I guess I'm just having a bad day.
It's week 2, and I'm doing well, and slowly seeing some results, but damn if office parties don't just make me want to eat the delicious treats that someone brought in. I mean, if there was a huge stack of soft-pretzels over there I might have to cave.
Well, actually it started last night. Since Skip and I like to go out with friends a lot, we decided to start our free day with dinner on Saturday night (and we ate authorized all day until then) and going up through midday snack on Sunday. Then, Sunday night's dinner has to be authorized as well and the week goes on according to BFL until the next free day.
Here is the beauty of the free day: it's realistic. Thinking to myself, "I have to wait 12 weeks before I can eat the things I love," makes me want to die and give up. But thinking, "I just have to make it until Saturday night and then I can have an iced coffee, or some ice cream, etc." Waiting until the end of the week is way easier than waiting until the end of 3 months.
Last night Skip and I went to the Spaghetti Factory. It was incredible. It was amazing how much more we appreciated that dinner and savored every bite of it than if we'd, say, had pizza the night before and had eaten like crap the rest of the week up until that amazing Spaghetti Factory dinner. This morning before church we are going to McDonald's where I will have an iced coffee! For lunch I plan to eat something wonderful like maybe macaroni and cheese or Qdoba. This also makes grocery shopping a lot easier because after I've had a fill of some decent junk food, it won't be so hard to walk right past those aisles in the grocery store while I shop for next week's authorized menu.
I love me some free day.
I'm just not very hungry lately. I really don't want to eat meat, or raw veggies. I need some food with more flavor and variety. Skip got Eating for Life last night from the library so I'm really excited to make food that is good and hot and delicious, instead of boring stuff. I realized that I don't know how to cook healthy foods, let alone authorized, so I guess I just don't know what I'm allowed to cook with. I'm excited to use this book and make some good food to eat throughout the week. Because right now I'm just kinda grossed out.
Sigh. So Skip is checking out a book for me called Eating For Life written by the BFL guy. I'm excited about it so I can make some tastier, authorized foods. Because right now plain chicken breast just does not cut it. I want peanut butter!! I want a recipe! I want deliciousness!
I also realized today that I'm really excited about seeing what kind of results I get. However, this also means that I'm scared I won't get the results I'm anticipating. It helps me through to realize that I don't actually have a lot of weight that I want to lose (I want to get more toned), but still, I'm scared I will just look the same after 12 weeks of hard work.
But I'm trying not to focus on that. I'm trying to keep myself in check and focusing on just the week ahead, and not on the full 3 months I'll be doing this. One week at a time...
Today we taught a class at work, and we always order food in for trainings. We get these boxed lunches that have a sandwich of some kind, pasta or potato salad, and some kind of wonderful brownie in it. We also had chips and stuff out for an afternoon snack. I ate none of the chips, had half of my veggie wrap for lunch, the other half for my next meal 2.5 hours later, and didn't eat the pasta salad or chocolate brownie with caramel and nuts. I'm strong, y'all. I suppose I could have brought in my own snacks or lunch and ate a tad more authorized (although I could have chosen the chicken salad on a croissant or the BLT wrap), and I plan to when my meal replacement Myoplex bars get here, but I guess I was just a little embarrassed to do that. I guess I have to get over that.
Mainly I'm really excited. I'm ready to make this change in my life and get refocused on what is important to me, and that's exercising and being healthy. I'm also happy that Skip will be doing the Challenge with me. Not only will he be support, but this will be such a great way for us to spend time together and really doing something together as a team.
Ok so basically I need a lot of support from anyone reading this (you can leave comments!) and wish me luck! We took our "before" pictures yesterday, but I don't know if I want to post mine. I feel too shy! I mean, it is me standing there, full body shot, looking at the camera while I'm standing in my underwear and I feel like I look chubby. Maybe I will post them along with our 6 week progress pictures? I don't know!
The other lady, Sarah Brown, I just think is really hot and I'd love to look like her. Unfortunately, I never will because we have different body shapes. But isn't she pretty!
You can click on these ladies' links and see what supplements they used and what their meal plans looked like while they were on BFL. It really helps! I will look at these two everyday to keep myself motivated. They were able to get those rock-hard bodies in only 12 weeks! That is amazing.
And then I went to dinner and my plan of eating completely authorized tonight was totally shot. Let's not discuss it. But now I know that one of my bigger challenges during the next 12 weeks will be eating out with friends.
I have, however, worked out every night that I've been out of town. I even went to the YMCA with my co-workers tonight and did my cardio! That was great.
On another note, my butt hurts really bad from doing squats and lunges yesterday. It feels great, though. I miss this feeling.
These 12 weeks are going to be so hard, but even during this trial run, I'm really happy to be fitting this into my schedule again.
I am finding myself trying to use the fact that this week is a trial week or that I'm out of town as an excuse to eat whatever I want. I think I'm doing pretty good though and acknowledging that I'm making excuses. At the same time, I'm also trying to cut myself a little slack. I know that I might not always have access to the healthiest of foods, and in that case it's a matter of watching my portions and doing the best I can. While I'm going to follow BFL as closely as I can, I also realize that I can't be perfect, all I can do is try my best. That is really hard for me.
In other news, I very strongly dislike Springfield, MO. I just don't like it. I do however like the fact that I am watching "Judge Judy" right now for the first time in probably a year. I really love this show.
Maybe I'm a little nervous about my business trip, or maybe I didn't eat enough yesterday, or maybe I didn't space my meals very efficiently. I did however pack my travel bands so I can get some resistance training in at the hotel, and I plan to try and stick as closely to BFL's eating plan as I can while I'm away.
Unfortunately, I really feel like crap.
1) I might need to start waking up a bit earlier than 6am. Today I was finished and ready for work with no problems, but I was also ready and excited to get started and I know I won't always be quite so eager to get up and work out.
2) Another concern I have is my cardio days. I want to do this without joining a gym, but when I wake up at 6am it's still dark out and I don't especially want to go wandering around my neighborhood with headphones on in the dark. And since it will only be getting darker outside, this may be a problem. I might just have to wait until 6:30am to do my 20 minutes of cardio or do it in the evenings.
Otherwise I feel pretty good about today. It's great knowing that I already have my meals and snacks planned and prepared. I think that will really be key in my success but also it's going to be really hard keeping up with all the planning and grocery shopping. But that's what this week is for: to plan and prepare so that when I officially start on October 8th I'll be ready! Also, my Uncle Guy is doing BFL too and he starts today! This is probably his millionth cycle of BFL so I am definitely going to look to him for encouragement and support. I hope he's ready! Plus, in 3 months we can totally compare our awesome bodies. Hooray!
Ok here I go! I'm a little nervous!
I'm doing this for other reasons, too. I really love working out and trying to be healthy. Unfortunately, since graduating college, life kind of gets in the way and I've let that healthy stuff sort of slide right out of my life. Since I got married October 2006, it's been close to nonexistent. And that makes me sad. I shouldn't have to sacrifice something I love so much! I do, however, need to find a good way to fit it into my life. Which is really hard. Between work, my marriage, going back to school and helping to plant a church, I have little no free time. And if I do have free time, I spend it doing other things. It's hard for me to spend time and energy on myself.
Anyway, this blog is here to help me stay motivated, and to maybe even get some support from anyone reading it. I'm going to try and write a few times a week, and I'll even post my before, during, and after photos of my progress.
Right now, I'm preparing. I'm buying my weights, getting a room all set up so I can work out without tripping over stuff, and planning my meals, workout schedules, and going grocery shopping. I plan for my official start date to be October 8, 2007, which means my 12 weeks will end sometime in December, I think. Anyway, I'll have all of that info later, right now just wish me luck as I get started!