this is it, this is it...

Tomorrow, December 28th, is my last day of Body for Life! I'm super stoked to take a bit of time off, or at least not worry about sticking so closely to a regimen. I'm also really looking forward to training for this half marathon (from here on out will be referred to as "the halfie") for a bit of a shake-up on the diet and exercise stuff. Don't they say to switch things up to keep it interesting? ...I actually think they use that phrasing for several things. But, funny enough, the halfie program that I'm doing is also 12 weeks!

But anyway I'm really excited that tomorrow is my last day. Thank you to everyone for reading my blog and supporting me these 12 weeks. And an extra special thanks to The Bets for making authorized meals (whether she meant to or not) on the nights we got together to pig out and watch America's Next Top Model. A special no thanks to her parents for sending 4 tubs of cheese to her house on America's Next Top Model night. 

Keep checking in because in a few days I'll be posting my before and after pictures and my stats!! Also, I will obviously keep blogging about halfie trials and tribulations. That's 13.1 miles baby!

phew!

Well the holidays are over and I made it through alive. I managed to have about 4 free days in a row and not throw my last week of BFL completely out the window. I'm excited for Saturday to roll around, so I can get my fake tan on (it helps to accentuate tone and muscle) and take my after picture and send in my completed Challenge Packet. $50,000 here I come! ...I hope. Wouldn't that be cool? Dang dude, if I win $50K I will poop my pants. Well, I would pay off my student loans and then poop my pants.

In other news, my new adventure after Body For Life consists of me training for the St. Louis Half Marathon in April! Stay tuned as I combine BFL and marathon training!

what happened?

Healthy & desirable (1943):

Um... desirable? (2007):

What happened here? (That's Tara Reid, by the way.) What happened to looking healthy? What happened to the definition of "healthy"? What happened that made everyone want to be so skinny?

ugh, i hate the holidays!

Today we had our Christmas party at work. I tried my very best to not eat all the crap there, and I did pretty good, but I didn't do great. Last night our neighbor brought over two tins of cookies and fudge for Christmas. I have to eat at like a million houses between Christmas Eve and Day. This is what I hate, the beating up of myself. Why can't I just eat like a regular person? Oh right, because when I did I gained 10 pounds. But it's the holidays! I wish I could cut myself some freaking slack.

People ask what is life after BFL like? What do you do? My answer: round 2 baby. That's right. I'm so pleased with my results from this 12 week cycle that I fully plan on (taking a week off and then) starting over with week 1.

I'm kind of annoyed at myself for taking the results I've gotten so far for granted. I look at the weight I've lost or the tone and muscle I've gained and think, "Yeah, but it's not perfect" and that makes me sick. So what?! I look great compared to 10 weeks ago and I'm totally blowing off all my hard work and the changes I have made!

Ugh, I hate body and weight issues sometimes. I really do. I didn't like how I looked before, and I don't like how I look now. What the hell is that?

almost... there... can barely... reach it...

Thus begins week #11 of Body For Life. I can't believe it's almost over. It really, truthfully, has not been that hard as far as eating good foods and not eating bad ones.

It has, however, been a little hard to sustain. It all started when one week Skip and I stopped planning our meals on Sunday nights. We were able to eek through the week, still eating authorized, but it was much harder than before. We are now able to see why it was so easy for us to fall into such terrible eating habits- it's way easier to order a pizza than go to the store, pick something out, go home, and cook for 30 minutes. With school, a second job for Skip, business trips for me, church obligations, and final projects and exams (not to mention a little thing called the Christmas season), it became damn near impossible to keep up the planning and scheduling required for BFL.

This past week I was unable to work out. At all. I feel terrible about it, but I was able to keep up the eating, and I'm still looking good, so I guess I'm fine with it. Putting up such definite boundaries and guidelines makes it very hard to break or bend them, thus I feel like a failure. This has been a constant struggle for me: to not follow something to perfection and "turn over a new leaf" is really, reeeally hard for me.

But I'm looking forward to starting this week over and really kicking ass the next two weeks. Look for my before and after pictures to go up sometime around December 29th!

slacker.

In my defense, I weighed myself this morning and I now officially weigh as much as I did in college. In college! That is awesome. So please try not to give me too much crap about how I'm not eating as authorized as I should. I mean, I'm not eating cookies or chocolate shakes or anything blatantly unhealthy, I'm just not as strict as I was in, say, week 3.

Here's the thing people, BFL has shown me how I need to eat. I don't really crave unhealthy food anymore, so when I go out to eat, I make sure to order something with a lot of veggies and some kind of protein. Like today. We went out for Thai food at work for lunch. I rarely go out to eat with everyone because of BFL, and today I wanted to go so I let myself. I had chicken with veggies and some white rice. They also gave me this tiny little spring roll. That was fried. And I ate it. And I ate most of my white rice. Neither of which was authorized, but it was all about the portions.

I guess I just see now that it's not about what I don't eat, it's about what I do eat. And I do need to eat. BFL has made me understand that my body needs food. Eating is a good thing! It's what you eat that can make things go all wonky. My body needs food, so I eat happily, except I try to make sure that what I'm eating isn't total crap. I'm not afraid or worried about food anymore. It's a huge relief.

So I eat healthy 98% of the time now, and my "free days" are kind of spread out throughout the week. I'm still sticking to the workout and the eating portion, and I've lost 9 pounds to prove it! I'm just adjusting BFL for my life, so that I can eat healthy and stay in shape forever.

It's pretty awesome.

baby fever.

For those of you who don't know it, I have baby fever. Big time. I'm baby crazy, if you will. Baby fever has come and gone for me in the past, but this time it's stuck around for a good 4 or 5 months now.

Skip is not ready for babies. In fact, right before I got this baby craziness, we were both in agreeance that we kind of don't even want babies. Like, ever. So it was a big shock to him when I came down with the fever and it won't go away. I think he's starting to come around to the fact that, ok ok yes Kate wants to have babies for real now. But he's not yet to the point where he is also wanting to have babies at this second. Which is bad. For me.

But they are everywhere! Babies are everywhere. Some good friends of mine at work are either on maternity leave or thisclose to going on maternity leave. My cousin is due this month. One of my very best friends just told me she's pregnant. And you guys, I mean it, I've got it. I've got this fever. For example, last night I went out to eat with my brother, his fiancee, and their almost 3 year-old daughter. She was crazy. She was running around, squealing, didn't want to eat, ran into the kitchen, etc. Skip looked at me and I just said, "Yep, still want 'em!" I mean, she's 2! Of course she's crazy! And I blame the establishment: they didn't give her crayons or coloring stuff or anything. In all honesty, I was kind of bored.

How does this translate to BFL? Not to toot my own horn here, guys, but I'm looking pretty good. I'm pretty much back to my post-college figure and it feels great. I actually need to go shopping because none of my pants fit. It's awesome! But having a baby means that I'm going to gain a ton of weight, and have a hard time losing it (or so they tell me, I like to think I like working out too much to let myself keep all the baby weight).

So that's what I keep telling myself. "Don't have a baby now, you're looking so great and you've been working so hard. Don't lose momentum now. You've only got 3 more weeks!"

But it's haaard. I just want babies!

sick.

I've been sick all week. This past Friday and Monday I spent all day at a school teaching 8th graders about HIV/AIDS, and I think that's where I got this sickness. Schools are germ banks, and I've been invaded.

As a result of my sickness which has involved countless Kleenex, one and a half days missed at work, and laying in bed with Tucker for about 7 hours straight, I have not worked out since Monday afternoon. This is freaking me out and I'm trying to be the calm Kate I know I can be and telling myself that it's OK, you'll pick it up next week, or as soon as you feel better. People get sick, and you have to let your body get better.

But it's making me crazy!! I've read a number of times that if you're sick "from the neck up," meaning a cold or slight congestion or something, you can still get a workout in. If you're sick "from the neck down," like if the sickness is in your chest, go to bed and don't get up until you feel better.

I call bullshit.

I am definitely in the "from the neck up" category, but no way am I going to put on workout clothes and suffer through the chills or hot flashes associated with a bad cold or sinus infection or whatever is going on just so I can get in a few squats and cardio. Please. I need to be in bed with Tucker by my side watching a really good movie. Like "Shaun of the Dead."

But I do feel guilty. I feel like I'm losing my momentum with BFL and that one day shortly before my 12 weeks are over I will quit altogether. Actually, I know that won't happen, but it feels like it's happening despite my best efforts. I have been sticking to the eating portion of BFL, and am not letting the "I'm sick!" excuse to allow myself to drink hot chocolate or a fruity, unauthorized smoothie.

I just really hate being sick.

5K! ...and then some.

Today I ran my first race! I ran in the Maryville Turkey Trot which supports Collinsville High School's cross country team. Skip, me, and my friends Betsy and Heather all ran it, too.

Skip and Betsy are pro runners. Skip ran all through high school and still runs now and again. Betsy ran two marathons this year. Enough said. While I got in pretty good running shape this past summer, it go too hot for me to keep it up, and I haven't really run since starting Body For Life. Heather is a new runner, but ran a 5K a week or so ago and ran her second one today!

Or so we thought.

Since Heather was planning on run/walking the race, I decided to stick with her since I didn't know what kind of running shape I'd be in. I knew for sure I wouldn't be able to run the whole thing in one go, that I'd have to stop and walk every so often, and that Skip and Betsy would probably finish in 20 minutes. Plus Heather said she came in last place at her first 5K, so I wanted to be there to support her, keep her company, and walk with her if we needed to. Also Heather is just really cool, and I had heard she cusses when she runs and you know I love that.

So here we go running. I was excited to actually be in a race for what I realized was my first time, because I've been a spectator at lots and I love going to running events. So it was cool to be on the other side of the tape. Heather and I are with the pack of racers, then we are finally in last place. No worries, it was a really pretty day and some of the leaves were still turning and we were back on some awesome country road so it was just really beautiful and serene. There was one lady, I called her Purple Pants, who we kept leapfrogging with, and I told Heather, "Oh man, we can totally smoke this lady."

So we're running and we're running, we stop and walk, we run, things are going good. We can still see people up ahead and, well, they were getting way up ahead. No worries. It was beautiful, the sun was out, I didn't have my iPod because I broke it in Palm Springs, so I was content just running and hanging out with Heather.

Then we come to a crossroads and I remember saying, "Geez Heather if you weren't with me, I wouldn't know which way to go!" There were no orange cones guiding us. So we continue on another stretch of country road. No worries. Well, some, maybe. I didn't really see any runners anymore, and the road now was busy and wide open so the wind was blowing in our faces and we were kind of worried about all the cars whizzing past us. Oh well, we've got to be over halfway there. But where is Purple Pants? Man we must really be kicking her butt.

We eventually start to realize that this is crap! Where are the orange cones?! The next road we were on had the wind blowing even harder and the running lane even narrower. We're running and walking, and by this time we're walking a bit more often.

Finally we see the end of the race. We're running into the parking lot and Heather is yelling at runners (who, by the way, have long since finished the race, some are even driving home), "Where is the finish line?! Where is it?!" They look at us like we're crazy and kind of point over to the soccer field. I see Rich, Heather's husband and our pastor, and since I can't see any kind of finish line, I decide to just stop. Heather is determined and starts running over to the finish line. She sees Rich and says, "Where are we supposed to go??" and he's like, "The finish line is over there!" and points in the other direction across the parking lot past the registration tent. "People were finishing coming from that way. What happened?"

Long story short, Heather and I got lost. We got lost and Heather lost it on the race coordinators. She walked right up to them (oh yeah, and it's true, Heather does cuss when she runs!! And even more so when the race was shabbily run, no pun intended) and let them have it. Rich and I stood back and let her get it out of her system. I can't say I blame her. She comes back over to us and we start looking at a map of the race course that was stapled to a pole. Heather and I see that we did not make a left turn at what was clearly a pivotal point, but we are certain there were no cones directing us. I mean, I didn't have anything to do but look around and see the road, I had no iPod or music to distract me. No way we could have missed it. Heather rips the map off the pole and, as she storms back to the registration table says, "I'm showin' them this!!"

Rich and I wait for Heather to come back. Someone must have either stolen the "Turn Here" sign, or the group of runners in front of us picked it up thinking there was no one behind them. Meanwhile Rich had been back at the finish line, watching our predicted finish time go by, imagining the worst. Skip and Betsy had gone back to look for us, not knowing that we'd gotten lost and weren't even on the same path as them. It was a mess. The race coordinators sent someone out to look for anyone else who might have gotten lost and to pick up leftover cones. I don't know if Purple Pants was out there. I hope she is ok.

Heather comes back, cooled off by now, and says instead of 3.1 miles, we probably ran about 5. I think that made it worth it to us. If we had gotten lost and still only ran 3.1, or even worse, ran less than that, we would have continued to be pretty upset. But they gave us a couple extra free shirts and offered us a refund. We didn't take it, we wanted the cross country team to keep the $10, but organize your race better!!

Needless to say, it made a great story, we all went out for breakfast afterwards, and Rich dubbed us "The Kenyans."

difficult.

Well, I'm back from the US Conference on AIDS in Palm Springs, CA. It was... ok. It was disappointingly irrelevant for what we do with our peer education program (by that I just mean that we didn't really learn anything new), but it was still inspiring and I got goosebumps about a million times listening to different speakers or people living with the virus and sharing their stories. I was glad I went, but even more glad to get home.

That being said, I did pretty well for not being able to eat on my regular schedule and not always getting the 6 meals in a day and not being able to plan out what I was going to eat... because I didn't know what I was going to eat. I tried to stick to salads and watched my portions and at least tried to get in a protein, carb, and veggie at most meals. Don't get me wrong, I slipped a couple times (there was this amazing Mexican restaurant right around the corner!!), but when we're looking at the whole picture, I did really, really good. I also stuck to the workout portion of BFL without a hitch, so that was great too.

And to prove it I've got another half inch off my waist!

However, it is a little hard getting back on track. I love having my schedule back, but it's a little easier for me to get tempted by unauthorized foods. For example, last night at my friend Betsy's house I had a few handfuls of those Hot Tamales candies. But. I realized what I was doing and moved the bowl far away from me so I wouldn't eat anymore.

I think my mindset is changing. As Skip and I almost complete our 6th week (halfway baby!), I am looking more towards the big picture of eating healthy for life instead of focusing on these 12 weeks and doing meticulously well for 12 weeks only. So I am letting myself have a handful of chewy candy, but putting them away after I know I've had enough. Or, like yesterday, when I had to stop at Schnuck's and get something from the salad bar because I forgot my lunch, and then I forgot to add a portion of carbohydrates to my lunch, I let myself have a small piece of a bagel to supplement that carbohydrate.

Body For Life has helped me to understand that I need to feed my body. I need food! So when I don't have anything near me that is technically authorized but it's time for me to eat one of my small meals, I will let myself have a small bag of pretzels or a cup of yogurt or something at least on the healthy side. Or at least not sweat it too much. Because the point of all of this is to change my eating habits so that I can stay healthy and fit for the rest of my life. Not just 12 weeks.

real quick...

I'm trying really hard to focus on myself in this blog, which is hard for me to do. I don't like to bring attention to myself. Usually when people ask me about Body For Life I tell them that it's going really well and my husband looks great and he's doing this and that and blah, blah, blah... Totally just start talking about Skip and his amazing results so far. I don't like to talk about myself or my results. This blog is ironic.

Anyway, I just wanted to give myself a little bit of leeway here and say that Skip is looking hot. HOT. His belly is officially been titled "The Incredible Shrinking Belly" and his arms are getting all ripped and stuff. It's awesome.

I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm looking smokin' too (hehe), but it's a lot more fun to see and talk about how hot Skip is.

:)

challenge!

Tomorrow I leave for the US Conference on AIDS in Palm Springs, CA. Bummer, I know. I'll be gone until Saturday at 8:15pm, just in time for my free day! In the meantime, I'll have to watch how it goes this week and how and what I'll be able to eat at the conference. I'm bringing my travel bands for weight training and I think the hotel has a pool and a fitness center so I'll be able to get in some cardio. If anything, I'll just go for a walk outside in the sun.

This week is going to be a tough one. I just need to know that I will do the best I can. If I can't be perfect, I can do my best and that's all I can do.

Challenge!

the inevitable.

We joined a gym. I originally wanted to make it through my 12 weeks without joining a gym. Unfortunately, with the weather getting colder and the days getting shorter, we had to join one. Surprisingly, I'm doing just fine doing the weight lifting part at home, it's the cardio that I am having trouble squeezing into my day. I wake up early and let Tucker out, and it's so cold and dark out that I literally cannot go back outside. It's too cold! So we joined a gym that's pretty close to our house. I'm excited! Because I can also get a better cardio workout in using the equipment since I'm not a super fan of running and walking doesn't get my heart going as well.

In other news, I might also be a personal trainer at this gym! Apparently I need no special certification (look out) and they are short on trainers so... voila! Being a personal trainer is something I've always wanted to do, and I'm really confident in my abilities as a trainer. Between working out myself and reading pretty much anything I run across that is about nutrition or fitness, I think I would do okay. So we'll see!

Oh, and by the by, it's now 2 inches off my waist and 2 inches off my hips. Woot!!

pretzels.

Near the top of my list of favorite foods resides pretzels. I like all types of pretzels. I like pretzel rods, honey wheat pretzel twists, Rold Gold pretzels, those really fat, hard, crunchy ones, and, pretzel of pretzels: the soft pretzel.

For my midday snack today I had string cheese and yogurt. Not too bad, but definitely missing the salty and crunchiness that I really need in the afternoon. Fortunately for me, unfortunate for BFL, there was a huge bowl of Rold Gold pretzels out in the office this afternoon.

I've had several handfuls. Ugh, I miss pretzels!

inches!

Week three has been the hardest week yet. It's hard to see any visible results of all this authorized eating and exercising everyday. BFL is no longer a novelty and, it's official, I hate eating all this meat. I hate it and it's really hard for me to do it. Especially if I'm the one who has to cook it. Ground beef is about the only thing that doesn't gross me out, but raw chicken, ground turkey, steaks... *shudder* I can't do it. I can, but not without force.

But yesterday made it all worthwhile. After a particularly lackluster week of rainy mornings and saving my cardio or workouts for after work (which kind of makes me feel like I'm doing BFL wrong, which I'm not, I can work out any time during the day), I was feeling like a failure a little bit. So, while I was lifting weights at home, I decided to bust out the measuring tape and check my measurements.

I've lost inches! I've lost one inch from around my waist, an inch and a half around my hips, a half inch from each bicep and each calf! Small, minuscule inches, but still!! It definitely gave me a much-needed push and encouragement, as well as totally made my day.

As we enter week four, we should start to see more noticeable results. I think around week 5 or 6 is when they say you start to see changes the fastest, so that is exciting. And to make it even better, Skip and I started our free day yesterday with a frozen custard face off, so guess what I got to have this morning? You guessed it:

coffee.

I miss coffee. Out of everything in the whole world I can't eat while on Body For Life, I miss coffee the most. I miss stopping at Bucky's gas station, filling up my tank, and then getting a cup of coffee with vanilla creamer and Splenda. I miss the slow, rainy days at work where I leave mid-morning to go to Bread Co. and get some kind of latte. When I read books and the story leads the characters to a coffee shop for bagels and, you guessed it, coffee, I get a little sad. I miss the term, "Let's go get coffee," because even when I say it to someone, I know that really means I will have to get tea. And I used to like tea. But now I'm a coffee girl. Through and through.

Coffee is the one trendy thing I can really follow through on. I don't wear especially cool clothes. My hair makes me look like someone's mom. I don't own skinny jeans or Chuck Taylors. Coffee was the one thing I could do that made me feel like someone who has their life together. Someone who was cool. Someone who could get away with wearing that newsboy hat.

Being on BFL, I realize that I didn't eat too bad before I started the program. True, it wasn't a very well-balanced diet, but I don't think I was doing too bad. I feel confident that when my 12 weeks are over, I'll be able to pretty well stick to eating this way for a good long while (it's called body for life for a reason).

But I also know that I damn well will have my coffee with creamer every morning if I please. And if it means losing an ounce of muscle or gaining a couple pounds, so be it.

guilt and hardships.

Today, my cardio day, I woke up ready to go. I even went to bed early last night. I went to let Tucker outside before I changed into my walking/running clothes, only to find it rainy and about 40 degrees outside. Oh, and it was still dark outside, as usual. I decided not to go for my cardio. I don't like going out in the dark anyway, and the rain and cold were equally deterrent. So I felt very guilty. I'm trying to remind myself that it's ok to not be 100% perfect, but I also don't want to give myself so much slack that I continue to not workout on certain days. I need to get a yoga mat, that way I can do a Pilates DVD in our living room (it has hardwood floors, I need a mat) in case this happens again.

Also this is just getting hard. With our social life, it's really hard and sad for me to not be able to eat and have fun with my friends whenever I want. For example, we went to a huge bonfire this past Friday night and they had hot dogs, s'mores, and hot chocolate. I had a hot dog only because my strong aversion to meat kept me from eating much more than string cheese, yogurt, and peanut butter crackers all day and my stomach was hurting I was so hungry. I felt really guilty about that hot dog, too.

So, I guess the novelty of BFL has officially worn off, and I'm starting to feel like I'm about to quit or let myself down again like I did today or something crazy like that. I just really hate having to plan around what social event is going on that weekend with when I can eat something unauthorized. Like a freaking s'more.

Sigh, I guess I'm just having a bad day.

sore.

Now this is what I'm talkin' 'bout! My arms are really sore! I might sound weird, but I love this feeling. I can feel what seems like almost every muscle in my arms right now and I love it. This feeling is what inspired my blog URL to be "i hurt all over", because right now I kind of do! I don't know, to me it just feels really refreshing to feel sore. I'm not sore like I can't lift my arms or move, I'm just sore in the sense that I feel like I worked out hard yesterday and I love it.

me want cookies.

I'm blogging right now to distract myself from the Boss' Day gathering that is going on just cubicles away. Today is National Boss Day and everyone was instructed to bring some kind of wonderful goodie to eat to celebrate our Bosses. Well, I ate my Peanut Butter Crisp Carb Control EAS bar for a snack (as per BFL) about 30 minutes ago so that when this little party got going I wouldn't be tempted by the junk food. I was wrong. All I want to do is dig into that huge mound of cookies and eat one! There's also delicious cheese over there as well! I haven't let myself look at all the food because I don't want to make not eating it harder than it already is, but in plain view there sits a bowl full of Cheez-Its and Pringles. Ugh, I love Cheez-Its and Pringles!!

It's week 2, and I'm doing well, and slowly seeing some results, but damn if office parties don't just make me want to eat the delicious treats that someone brought in. I mean, if there was a huge stack of soft-pretzels over there I might have to cave.

free day!

Today, ladies and gentleman, is the best part of Body-for-Life: the free day. For 6 days a week, I exercised, ate right, ate meat (blech), and exercised some more. But Sundays... ah Sundays. I get to not work out, and I get to eat whatever I want, as much as I want. Today, my friend, is my free day.

Well, actually it started last night. Since Skip and I like to go out with friends a lot, we decided to start our free day with dinner on Saturday night (and we ate authorized all day until then) and going up through midday snack on Sunday. Then, Sunday night's dinner has to be authorized as well and the week goes on according to BFL until the next free day.

Here is the beauty of the free day: it's realistic. Thinking to myself, "I have to wait 12 weeks before I can eat the things I love," makes me want to die and give up. But thinking, "I just have to make it until Saturday night and then I can have an iced coffee, or some ice cream, etc." Waiting until the end of the week is way easier than waiting until the end of 3 months.

Last night Skip and I went to the Spaghetti Factory. It was incredible. It was amazing how much more we appreciated that dinner and savored every bite of it than if we'd, say, had pizza the night before and had eaten like crap the rest of the week up until that amazing Spaghetti Factory dinner. This morning before church we are going to McDonald's where I will have an iced coffee! For lunch I plan to eat something wonderful like maybe macaroni and cheese or Qdoba. This also makes grocery shopping a lot easier because after I've had a fill of some decent junk food, it won't be so hard to walk right past those aisles in the grocery store while I shop for next week's authorized menu.

I love me some free day.

yuck.

Ugh, the lunch I just had was terrible. I like to buy Lean Cuisines for lunch, however, until I started BFL, I liked to eat their pizzas, lasagnas, or sesame chicken (mm... so good). BFL allows for frozen meals like that on their food plan, but it warns to watch the fat and sodium content. Well in those meals, the fat and sodium isn't bad, but I guess it would be considered a little high for BFL purposes. So I've been trying to buy the ones with chicken and vegetables. Today I had almond chicken with rice and veggies, only I didn't poke the top of it enough to let the steam vent out, and it was very soggy and very disgusting. So I only had a few bites before I threw it away.

I'm just not very hungry lately. I really don't want to eat meat, or raw veggies. I need some food with more flavor and variety. Skip got Eating for Life last night from the library so I'm really excited to make food that is good and hot and delicious, instead of boring stuff. I realized that I don't know how to cook healthy foods, let alone authorized, so I guess I just don't know what I'm allowed to cook with. I'm excited to use this book and make some good food to eat throughout the week. Because right now I'm just kinda grossed out.

cravings: the problem.

I think I've found my biggest problem: my cravings. Not that I am constantly craving McDonald's or chocolate brownies or .. ok, now I totally am craving them. My point is, the eating plan of BFL includes eating, at every meal, one serving of protein, one serving of a carbohydrate, and one serving of vegetables at two of the six meals you are supposed to be eating throughout the day. My problem is that I hate meat. I don't like meat very much, and I certainly never crave it. Even chicken. I'm never like, "Oh man a chicken sandwich would be so great right now!" Mostly I'm like, "I could really eat some peanut butter crackers." Peanut butter crackers aren't too bad for you, but they're not considered really "authorized."

Sigh. So Skip is checking out a book for me called Eating For Life written by the BFL guy. I'm excited about it so I can make some tastier, authorized foods. Because right now plain chicken breast just does not cut it. I want peanut butter!! I want a recipe! I want deliciousness!

energy

Ok well today was day 2, and it's kind of incredible how awesome I feel. Of course I'm not seeing results yet, I don't think I'll really start to see results until week 5 or 6 (that's what I've heard), but I feel great. Skip mentioned today that even though getting up at 6am to go for a run (in the dark) sucked really bad, but during the day he felt like he'd actually gained an hour of sleep. And that's when I realized that I felt energized too! I don't feel so heavy or yucky or tired, I feel pretty okay, and so far that is awesome.

I also realized today that I'm really excited about seeing what kind of results I get. However, this also means that I'm scared I won't get the results I'm anticipating. It helps me through to realize that I don't actually have a lot of weight that I want to lose (I want to get more toned), but still, I'm scared I will just look the same after 12 weeks of hard work.

But I'm trying not to focus on that. I'm trying to keep myself in check and focusing on just the week ahead, and not on the full 3 months I'll be doing this. One week at a time...

Today we taught a class at work, and we always order food in for trainings. We get these boxed lunches that have a sandwich of some kind, pasta or potato salad, and some kind of wonderful brownie in it. We also had chips and stuff out for an afternoon snack. I ate none of the chips, had half of my veggie wrap for lunch, the other half for my next meal 2.5 hours later, and didn't eat the pasta salad or chocolate brownie with caramel and nuts. I'm strong, y'all. I suppose I could have brought in my own snacks or lunch and ate a tad more authorized (although I could have chosen the chicken salad on a croissant or the BLT wrap), and I plan to when my meal replacement Myoplex bars get here, but I guess I was just a little embarrassed to do that. I guess I have to get over that.

OFFICIAL Day 1!!

Well, it's finally here! Today is my official start for the Body For Life 12 week challenge! Last night Skip and I sat down and planned our meals for the week, made a grocery list, and went shopping! Eating healthy is going to cost a little bit more than we're used to spending on groceries, but we will be spending significantly less going out to eat and, duh, we'll be eating better and living a healthier lifestyle.

Mainly I'm really excited. I'm ready to make this change in my life and get refocused on what is important to me, and that's exercising and being healthy. I'm also happy that Skip will be doing the Challenge with me. Not only will he be support, but this will be such a great way for us to spend time together and really doing something together as a team.

Ok so basically I need a lot of support from anyone reading this (you can leave comments!) and wish me luck! We took our "before" pictures yesterday, but I don't know if I want to post mine. I feel too shy! I mean, it is me standing there, full body shot, looking at the camera while I'm standing in my underwear and I feel like I look chubby. Maybe I will post them along with our 6 week progress pictures? I don't know!

recap

Ok, so this has been a very long week. I started off great, but I'll be very honest, the fact that this wasn't my official start week really got to me and by today, I'm not being as good. Also, I'm trying to pay closer attention to how I feel when I eat, and I've realized that when I'm sad or upset, that's when I really just want to treat myself. Today I was bummed because I had to spend the day by myself so I ate a soft pretzel (probably #1 on my all-time favorite foods list) along with a regular Coke (this is my #1 all-time favorite combo). I don't even like drinking regular pop, except if it's with a soft pretzel. And I only drank about half, because by then I'd finished my pretzel and I dumped the rest out.

Anyway, so by today I am feeling kind of blah, kind of how I felt before I was eating really good up through Thursday evening. So here is what I know so far:

1) eating out is going to be a big challenge for me.

2) emotional eating is going to be a big challenge for me.

3) I have to plan my meals. I didn't plan anything today and I'm wondering what the heck I'm supposed to eat and/or I know what I should eat and I don't want to.

4) this is going to be really hard.

On Wednesday and Thursday, my body felt really weird because, I think, it was sort of detoxing. I wasn't eating anything really fatty or salty, and my body knew it and was pissed. And now that I've filled up on some junk, I feel back to normal. Very tricky.

5) my body is going to try and trick me.

I ordered my nutrition bars and they should be here by the end of the week. I am going to use these as snacks or meal replacements. I've also printed out pictures of these two ladies I am using as inspiration and will post them in my workout room. The first lady, Jen Weatherman, has a body type similar to mine so she is the one I am trying to copy as much as I can.

The other lady, Sarah Brown, I just think is really hot and I'd love to look like her. Unfortunately, I never will because we have different body shapes. But isn't she pretty!

You can click on these ladies' links and see what supplements they used and what their meal plans looked like while they were on BFL. It really helps! I will look at these two everyday to keep myself motivated. They were able to get those rock-hard bodies in only 12 weeks! That is amazing.

McDonald's

I gotta tell you guys something. I love McDonald's. I just do. I really do. And let me tell you something, I really love sausage mcmuffins. And today I had about 5 sausage mcmuffins sitting on a platter, just waiting for me. I didn't have even a bite of one! I was really proud of myself.

And then I went to dinner and my plan of eating completely authorized tonight was totally shot. Let's not discuss it. But now I know that one of my bigger challenges during the next 12 weeks will be eating out with friends.

I have, however, worked out every night that I've been out of town. I even went to the YMCA with my co-workers tonight and did my cardio! That was great.

On another note, my butt hurts really bad from doing squats and lunges yesterday. It feels great, though. I miss this feeling.

These 12 weeks are going to be so hard, but even during this trial run, I'm really happy to be fitting this into my schedule again.

out of town

Today I've done pretty well. I didn't eat dinner last night since I was driving so late in bad weather and I just wanted to get to the hotel. Then I was so tired I didn't feel like leaving to go to McDonald's or something. I decided to wait for the free breakfast in the morning. This morning I ate scrambled eggs and an English muffin. Lunch was from Panera/St. Louis Bread Co. so I tried to watch my portions, put a lot of salad on my plate, and didn't eat chips or any of the dozens of cookies they sent over. I was proud! Now I'm I going to use my travel bands to get in a lower body workout and tomorrow I can use the hotel's treadmill for my cardio.

I am finding myself trying to use the fact that this week is a trial week or that I'm out of town as an excuse to eat whatever I want. I think I'm doing pretty good though and acknowledging that I'm making excuses. At the same time, I'm also trying to cut myself a little slack. I know that I might not always have access to the healthiest of foods, and in that case it's a matter of watching my portions and doing the best I can. While I'm going to follow BFL as closely as I can, I also realize that I can't be perfect, all I can do is try my best. That is really hard for me.

In other news, I very strongly dislike Springfield, MO. I just don't like it. I do however like the fact that I am watching "Judge Judy" right now for the first time in probably a year. I really love this show.

trial day 2

Ugh, well today is not going well at all! I got a good night's sleep last night because I didn't have to go into work until later today since I will be driving for 3 hours this evening for my business trip. I woke up this morning with a little bit of a headache so I took some Excedrin. After I went for my walk with my dog, Tucker, I felt really shaky and sick. I thought maybe it was because I had forgotten to drink some water before I went. Anyway, as the morning went on, even after I'd had breakfast and drank a bunch of water, I just kept feeling sicker and sicker. I felt shaky, like my blood sugar was low. So I packed some food for the day, had an apple, and then ate a Snickers which is cleary not authorized but I just wanted to get my sugar up. Anyway, about 1.5 hours later I still feel sick. I think maybe because I had to eat my dinner pretty early yesterday at 5 pm since I had class at 5:30. Then, the only thing I could eat before I went to bed was a 60 calorie pudding cup at 8:30, after I'd come home from class. So that's something I need to work out. Maybe I need to eat something during my class, like on our break.

Maybe I'm a little nervous about my business trip, or maybe I didn't eat enough yesterday, or maybe I didn't space my meals very efficiently. I did however pack my travel bands so I can get some resistance training in at the hotel, and I plan to try and stick as closely to BFL's eating plan as I can while I'm away.

Unfortunately, I really feel like crap.

trial day 1

Today is trial day number one! It's only noon but I can already see some adjustments I'm going to have to make.

1) I might need to start waking up a bit earlier than 6am. Today I was finished and ready for work with no problems, but I was also ready and excited to get started and I know I won't always be quite so eager to get up and work out.

2) Another concern I have is my cardio days. I want to do this without joining a gym, but when I wake up at 6am it's still dark out and I don't especially want to go wandering around my neighborhood with headphones on in the dark. And since it will only be getting darker outside, this may be a problem. I might just have to wait until 6:30am to do my 20 minutes of cardio or do it in the evenings.

Otherwise I feel pretty good about today. It's great knowing that I already have my meals and snacks planned and prepared. I think that will really be key in my success but also it's going to be really hard keeping up with all the planning and grocery shopping. But that's what this week is for: to plan and prepare so that when I officially start on October 8th I'll be ready! Also, my Uncle Guy is doing BFL too and he starts today! This is probably his millionth cycle of BFL so I am definitely going to look to him for encouragement and support. I hope he's ready! Plus, in 3 months we can totally compare our awesome bodies. Hooray!

preparation pt. II

Today I went to Target and bought a few sets of weights, an exercise ball, and some exercise bands (to use when I go out of town for work). I also bought a journal to use during this adventure and a small decorative pumpkin. After I'm done typing this blog, I'm going to plan out my meals for the next two days and go grocery shopping. While I plan to give this week my best shot, I'm not going to go "all the way" with BFL this week. I'll be out of town for work for three days and I don't know what kind of access to healthy/authorized foods I'll have. So next week will be my official start when I begin using my nutritional supplements, but this week is sort of a dry run.

Ok here I go! I'm a little nervous!

preparation

Hi! Well, here I go. For those of you who are confused, I can explain. There is a fitness/exercise/diet program called Body For Life (BFL from here on out). Except it's not like froo froo crazy gimmick thing. It's kind of hard core. Check out the link and you'll get an even better idea of what I'm doing. Anyway, anyone can do BFL, but some people enter The Challenge. The Challenge has its own set of rules and regulations, but it doesn't cost anything. The grand prize involves winning $50,000.

I'm doing this for other reasons, too. I really love working out and trying to be healthy. Unfortunately, since graduating college, life kind of gets in the way and I've let that healthy stuff sort of slide right out of my life. Since I got married October 2006, it's been close to nonexistent. And that makes me sad. I shouldn't have to sacrifice something I love so much! I do, however, need to find a good way to fit it into my life. Which is really hard. Between work, my marriage, going back to school and helping to plant a church, I have little no free time. And if I do have free time, I spend it doing other things. It's hard for me to spend time and energy on myself.

Anyway, this blog is here to help me stay motivated, and to maybe even get some support from anyone reading it. I'm going to try and write a few times a week, and I'll even post my before, during, and after photos of my progress.

Right now, I'm preparing. I'm buying my weights, getting a room all set up so I can work out without tripping over stuff, and planning my meals, workout schedules, and going grocery shopping. I plan for my official start date to be October 8, 2007, which means my 12 weeks will end sometime in December, I think. Anyway, I'll have all of that info later, right now just wish me luck as I get started!